I see a therapist. A counsellor. A girl who lets me come to her office and tell her all about my problems. She is amazing. She has a waiting list so I can’t hand her name out or I would. I am one of the fortunate girls to be her client. I’m sure I’ll tell you more about all of that in the very near future.  I’ve been pining over this passion I have for writing words for about 10 years now and ever since I met my therapist, I have talked about it numerous times during our sessions.  So, about 2 weeks ago, she asked me point blank: “What are you waiting for?”

I have a list of what I think are good reasons as to why I have been waiting. My guess is that these excuses probably aren’t much different than most people might make.

Excuses like:   

• What makes my voice (words) so special?
• I don’t really think I’m all that eloquent.
• I’m not as good a writer as “so and so”, whoever that might be.
• What if people won’t read what I have to say?
• What if I’m rejected for what I write?

And… just today, I discovered something else:  There are some technological elements to this form of online creativity that I know NOTHING about. There’s another reason. I like to think of myself as pretty “tech savvy”, but as it turns out, I’m a little challenged in this area. I have some stuff to learn!  And now, all of you who read this blog will get to watch me do this. You’ll watch me grow and morph into a different person as I venture out into unknown territory trying to make my mark on the world! 

You know what else is intimidating me as of late? The fear that I have of being censored. There’s a trend right now, one that is being a bit selective with whose voices it likes and doesn’t like. I am not one who has ever appreciated being told that I can’t speak…. Or that I can’t share my opinion…. Or that my opinion doesn’t matter. Just ask my mama and daddy. Or my teachers in school.  I NEVER liked being told to be not to speak. I’ll concede – most of that I needed to obey because I was learning that authority had an important responsibility to fulfill in my formative years. (One day, I’ll write about the times where using my voice when I was a little girl was the most powerful thing I could have done, despite the risk of being misunderstood.)  However, over the past 20 years of my life, there’s a “hierarchy” that exists that I have bucked against – and my eyes have been opened to the reality that my desire to put my voice out there might make some of “them” squirm. And now I stand at a crossroads. 

I think everyone stands at a crossroads right now. I really believe that every person, whether an introvert or life of the party, has something to say. Being forced to #stayhome more than ever over the past year certainly hasn’t helped things when it comes to face to face communication. But now, since we are behind screens more and people are hoping for more human to human connection, I’m wondering…. Why don’t we all show up and speak? Why don’t we take a risk and communicate our passions a little more freely in a way that will challenge each other to learn more, that will build each other up, that will help us all have a sense of the camaraderie that we have been craving?

Yet, it’s worth considering: there are some kinks that we might encounter. In fact, we’ve already been experiencing them in almost every social network, news outlet, church pulpit and more….  The fact is, we don’t always agree with what everyone says. And we’ve all become more entitled to that reality. I am definitely one of “those people”. Staunch in my opinions and morals and convictions. And I pride myself in that. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I also believe that pride can be dangerous. I’m learning the difference between a healthy amount of pride that drives the loyalty to one’s beliefs but is equally held accountable by extraordinary amounts of humility. That is the cornerstone of success for anyone who wants to make a difference in this world. And something I want to become. Bound to my passion but aware of the opportunities to become better at considering the thoughts and perspectives of the voices around me.

And then there’s God. God is at the center of everything that I am driven to do. He is what motivates me to be the best I can be – including using my voice for good. To use my voice for the masses who need encouragement and for those who might need a challenge to make changes, to think differently about something, to become better. 

I want to see a company of people come together to use their words for good… and especially for God! I believe the world needs the HOPE that is found only in Jesus and His voice in each of us who know Him.  It is my deep desire that we can all team up to get the good words out there and to fight for the voices of people everywhere. To change our world one pen, keyboard, typewriter at a time.

I fight insecurity daily when I think about what I am “supposed to be doing”. But I have made a decision to fight it, knowing God is on my side. After all, He’s the reason I’m doing this. The reason I speak. I’m going to keep writing words. And share them with as many people as will read them. 

Thank you for being one of them.